Tell her she can't have a vagina
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
