Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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