Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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