I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
you have to choose: penises or morals?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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