you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize