I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
As shirtless as possible
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
