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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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