Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
