I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
