Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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