It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
