I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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