I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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