I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
