I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
