best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
