Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
