he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
