There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
