Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
