my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
