The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
