Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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