gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
