the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
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