I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
