im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
