She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Randomize
