Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
