none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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