do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I have aggressive nipples.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
