I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
