Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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