I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
