i would punch a child for taco bell
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
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