TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
