walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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