then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
