yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
