I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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