It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
