is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I FOUND THE LEGS
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
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