Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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