I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
