its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
