i barfeds in our rink
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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