I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
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