When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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