so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Dick very happy bro
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
