hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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