Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
