he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
